THE CONUNDRUM:
Do you wish that you would consistently and truly express love, inspired leadership and have a positive flowing experience of your productivity in your business?
Have you given up slightly if not completely in restoring a sense of love, excitement, passion, sexy juice and joy into your life and business?
Do you occasionally or too often forget to put in time for yourself – nurturing you, feeding you biologically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually?
Do you end some of your business days feeling deflated or uninspired, crawling into bed, binging on movies online and trying to forget the day?
Do you wish you could put more genuine feelings into your response, when asked about what you love about your business? Do you wish that your response would touch, move and inspire others?
Do you find yourself feeling confused, lost and disenchanted by the convoluted manner in which your work comes to you and gets done?
Do you feel like your vision and love for the business has gotten lost amongst the day to day grind and the compulsion to produce results that you are not even sure would be satisfying?
Time and Love
Time pressure is one of the main distractions from experiencing anything remotely close enough to love in conducting a business. There are countless references to what I just stated – easily found in a simple google search.
The Moment vs. The Compulsion – Discovering, Defining and Expressing Your Original Sexiness & Beauty
You heard the adage “Live in the Moment”.
Notice it says “IN the Moment.” To live in the moment, means to be fully “inside” the experience with no distractions – no matter what you feel or experience about the moment.
Eg. If you are sad, living in the moment means to experience that sadness fully without distraction e.g. being distracted by the thought that you should not be feeling sad.
Eg. if you are joyful, living in the moment means to experience that joyfulness fully without distraction e.g. being distracted by the thought that you do not deserve so much joy.
When you live in the moment, you get to experience life fully and give yourself the opportunity to resolve feelings of inadequacy, guilt, lack of success and motivation, resignation, fear and frustration. You also get the opportunity to live boldly, recognizing risk and learning how to mindfully and consciously manage it – so you stay safe while you discover adventure and the sexy juice of life.
Living in the moment also truly makes you beautiful and sexy at the same time; you feel it, others know it and some will be dreadfully jealous of you. And you may not even need your makeup or fantasize about Brad Pitt or Gal Gadot. You discover, define and express your own original sexiness.
Most people do not know what it really means to live and work in the moment. The reason is very simple. They just haven’t really learned and then practiced living and working in the moment. What they have learned to do is to live and work based mostly on a compulsion to get things done, compensate for some weakness or lack or out of a need to assuage a mood (e.g. guilt, frustration, fear or resignation.)
Where does the Compulsion Come From?
I have worked with literally thousands of people regarding their joy, experience of love, productivity and success (in workshops, speaking events and individual mentoring sessions) since 1991. I have also worked on my compulsions and continue to strive for higher levels of mastery through learning from failures and successes. Whilst I feel just as vulnerable (if not more so) as you do, I think I have something to say about this topic.
This compulsion comes from largely a part of our ego, which some people refer to as the inner critic. I call it my Dark Passenger. It is always coming along for the ride called my life. Always there critiquing, criticizing, judging, debating, comparing me with others, proclaiming quick conclusions and solutions, urging, pressuring, cajoling, convincing, putting up evidence of my failures and inadequacies, claiming to know better than everyone else and evaluating me mostly first and then other people based on an internal evaluation of myself.
I think you know who I am talking about. You may also have a Dark Passenger.
This dark passenger genuinely tries to keep you safe and there are times when it is a really good idea to listen to it (e.g. if you are about to make a very silly risky decision.)
However, mostly it is not a positive friend or cheerleader for you:
- It denies you joy.
- It rejects your current state – whatever that state may be – preventing you from being present, alert, awake and aware.
- It denies the experience and opportunity for you to be fully alive in every moment.
The Keys to Resolving these Compulsions?
One of the killers of sexiness is unresolved time issues and pressures.
These issues and pressures kill your ability to live in the moment.
There are four main areas to focus on – based on my experience guiding entrepreneurs:
- Not having a joyful calendar. Your calendar does not express joy and give you the ability to live in the moment consistently.
- Not having joyful workflows. Your workflows are the processes that you design that will handle a trigger to get work or a project done and complete. Most people do not design these processes well or they are unconsciously managed. This results in often not knowing when a project is done or where you are at with it – how much more do you need to work on it etc. When you have a bad or weak design for your workflows, you are left confused, agitated, fearful, worried and uncertain. Uncertainty kills sexy – puts it into a morgue more than 100 feet underground.
- Not having a joyful long term plan that is managed well. Your longer term ideas, dreams and goals unmanaged, leads to a long term malaise, ennui and oftentimes depression. Again a killer of sexiness and joy. Examples of long term goals are dreamy 3 month vacations in Tahiti, The Alps or Tuscany, your retirement, college for your kids, funding a vision or a non profit and more.
- Not having joyful systems to have you fulfill your objectives. These systems include people you hire to help you get there. You may not be ready yet to hire but you need to start thinking about how to design their work and compensation in advance. Preparation is the key to fulfillment here.
The Positive Breakthrough Level Impacts of Addressing these Four Areas:
These four areas above in concert also help to reduce overwhelm due to unnecessary multitasking. The habit of consistent multitasking can take a toll on your brain power in a day*. But multitasking also makes being present to what you are feeling, experiencing and doing in the moment, more difficult and hence prevents you from having the full experience of being alive in the moment.
The four areas above in concert enable you to improve your focus, which in turn helps you generate the feeling of being “IN the moment”. The habit of being IN the moment also builds your resilience – your ability to focus and be present even in the most dire of circumstances.
What I have observed in clients that I worked with successfully, is that these four areas in concert lend to you being and falling in love with yourself again. Discovering and confirming your inner beauty and charisma. But it does not end there. Going beyond that discovery of your inner beauty and charisma lands you squarely in the domain of having self-knowledge – the kind of knowing of yourself that makes all negative and positive judgements unnecessary for your natural confidence to show through.
Imagine a life or a week or month or year, where you have more of the experience of being IN the moment than being distracted – can you imagine what would be possible for you?
Easy Steps to Take Now
- Download my free guide to the Joyful Calendar (a really good start). Click here to learn more and to download: www.JoyfulCalendar.com
- Set up a free conversation with me to discuss specifically what you need and how you can get into action to have what you want. Click here to schedule a time easily: www.MeetupChat.com .
Coda – You can have boldness now.
Being and Feeling Beautiful and Sexy requires boldness.
Boldness means acting in the face of considerations.
You may or may not have considerations.
I HAVE NO TIME: One consideration people have is that they have no time to figure out how to better manage their time – can you hear the irony?
I NEED TO WAIT FOR A BETTER TIME WITH MORE STABILITY: Another consideration is that people think that they need to focus on working harder to make more money before they can afford the luxury of feeling beautiful and sexy. Can you hear that that is your inner critic trying to keep you safe but not really thinking mindfully about what it would take to have your dreams realized and have you safe at the same time? Can you also hear that taking bold (but wise) actions and decisions are going to be the only things that will help you move beyond the ordinary humdrum of life?
MY INVITATION TO BOLDNESS: My invitation to you is to be bold and take the positive decision to move forward with speed and cheerfulness. Schedule a time with me www.MeetupChat.com AND download the report at www.JoyfulCalendar.com .
For that speed and cheerfulness is what people will remember you for along with your love, boldness, beauty and sexy approach to leadership, fulfillment and joy.
Have and lead a loving, beautiful, speedy, cheerful, bold, fulfilling, joyful and sexy day.
Sunil Bhaskaran
*Reference “Your Brain at Work” by David Rock.
Since 1991, I’ve been reflecting on, designing, and implementing methodologies and systems for bringing a transcendent, creative and innovative approach to critical aspects of entrepreneurship.
