There comes a time when you must decide if you are bigger than your circumstances, fear, guilt, resignation, frustration and thoughts (positive or negative.)
“I know that I can play big, yet … there is something in the way of me doing so and having what I want. I can feel it. I can smell it. I can sense it. I just don’t know what it is.”
“I keep compromising my value, my prices and my honor with prospective clients who just do not show me and my services the respect deserved. Am I too picky? Am I just being a bitch?”
“Doubts.. Uncertainty. Those keep coming up for me. They are like my shadows – sometimes crouching in the background, sometimes right in front of me yelling at me to stop and oftentimes, just running alongside me as I run away from an opportunity or a problem that I don’t want to deal with.”
“I look at some of my friends. They seem to be living the life they love, but I know I am different. Yet, watching their smiling faces.. Even if I know they are fake smiles, it drives me crazy and makes me pause and doubt myself – Am I doing the right thing?”
“I wake up with justifications and arguments about my previous failures and my disappointments as well as the disappointments that others have raged about against me. I wonder if that is time well spent?”
The root causes for playing small or shrinking from possibilities:
1. The Past Rules
You have unresolved stories or incidents in the past that cloud your present and future thinking. When your mind is full of these unresolved stories, what space would you have for creating something new or bigger than who you think you are?
How could you really grow?
2. Not aware of real costs:You have a practice of settling … and you don’t get the balance of payments involved
You have a reinforced practice of settling for second or below best. Best in terms of opportunities and options. Best also in terms of who you could be.
The reason is simple; Over time, the costs of keeping this practice of settling for below your best is forgotten, but the payoffs (or benefits) of keeping this practice alive, although forgotten as well – seems to be of greater interest.
Here is a table to clarify:
The payoffs now may appear to be silly compared to the costs, but believe me – you are not going to remember that in the moment that you “elect” to play small.
3. Investment into Keeping Your Past Present .. and misfiled into your Future
So you can begin to see why there is an incentive to keep your past in the present.. And also misfiled into your future.
If you think of the past, present and future as separate filing cabinets and your incompetent filing clerk misfiled your past into the future, then everytime you go to think about or refer to the future, you see more of the past.. Or only the past.
This filing error needs to be corrected as soon as possible .. for your sake.
What can you do now?
- Allow Your Future to Rule
EASY QUICK SOLUTION: Give yourself a break; but give yourself the gift of urgency in giving yourself a break. Give yourself the opportunity to complete whatever is in your past.
You can do this simply by going through each failure or incomplete event in your past.
Ask yourself what you learned, what does it cost you to hold on to this “incompletion”, then ask yourself how long do you want to “hold on” to this unresolved issue?
Also ask yourself what are the specific actions or communications you need to make to resolve each issue, if any. Then actually take actions and communicate.
MORE SOLID, SURE TO WORK SOLUTION: The other option is to reach out to me and set up a Powerful Completion Session. Email me with reference to this article, and I will set this up with you OR click on my scheduling link I provide below.
- Make Your Future Rule
Create a new mission or future statement. Something easy to remember that inspires you.
Here are some simple steps to do so.
- Come up with a list of 15-20 words or phrases that inspire you e.g. integrity e.g. Making a difference, etc.
- Pick the best 8 words or phrases from this list.
- From this list of 8, create a maximum of three sentences that will become your mission or future statement.
Memorize this statement. Everyday, in the morning preferably, recite this to yourself and identify all the main projects or goals for the day and frame them in the following way “How do these goals further my mission or future statement?”
This will start making your future “bigger and more significant” than the previously seemingly significant past.
I want for you to have your past “errors” be insignificant compared to the magnitude and overwhelming joy of the future that you could live and make real.
If you have trouble creating a future, again reach out to me or schedule an appointment using my scheduling link below.
- Start Being Bold and Audacious as you Act on Your Future
The nature of being bold is less about thinking or not thinking about doing something.
It is okay to think or not think i.e. to ruminate about the decision to act or not.
It is okay and ordinary – nothing wrong with being ordinary.
And it is just that – ordinary. Business as usual.
If you want a desired interruption in the continuum, then you must rise above the thinking or “thoughting” and choose.
To choose in the face of the thinking. So you will notice that I am not asking you to be irrational. Far from it. I am asking you to be sane – to stop the insanity of wishing that you be extraordinary but then you keep doing the ordinary thing of overthinking or over-rationalizing on why you should or should not do something.
To choose does not imply impulsiveness, although it may feel like that to others.
It involves you being resolved after some reflection (see the work I suggest above) to take concerted action in moving forward with speed towards what you really want.
What if you are stopped still or know you need help in moving forward to play bigger?
If you know that you want to play big and you know that you want me to help or guide you move forward, then please schedule a time with me to do so here. https://calendly.com/sunilbhaskaran/30min
NOTE: This is not an act of weakness in asking for help or guidance. It is an act of vulnerability – but also an act of courage, guts and resolution. Once you decide to move forward, all factors involved in your future success conspire to come together to help you. You must pay attention to the opportunities that come your way. The opportunity for me to help you is one such opportunity.
I am honored that you would consider me to guide you.
Here is the link again: https://calendly.com/sunilbhaskaran/30min
I hope you take the opportunity to live a life that you love with no reservation.
Since 1991, I’ve been reflecting on, designing, and implementing methodologies and systems for bringing a transcendent, creative and innovative approach to critical aspects of entrepreneurship.