Riches.
On the one hand, what would any of us do to have all the riches in the world?
Boatloads of money, mansions in the sky, high-end cars strewn all over the yard, picture-perfect spouses and children, meditation retreats in heaven and of course, an Instagram account to show it all off - like a trophy cupboard packed with acknowledgement. Phew!
Richness.
On the other hand (or on the same hand), we want authenticity - to be known, felt, heard, tasted, been with, connected deeply, and heard for who we truly are. We want and crave for the moment-to-moment experience of being engaged, joyful, or even peaceful - a life in flux, with growth and transformation being the cornerstones for a life well lived. Phew!
The promise of this article.
I want to talk about the latter distinction (second paragraph above) - what I call richness. Instead of giving you a how-to in step-by-step form, I will give you a map of the country called Richness; What would be the main parts of that land map to make the experience of richness alive and real in your life?
1. Willingness & What to Give Up
To have something worth having, you need to be willing to be in a way that you may be unaccustomed to being. This may be uncomfortable for you and it represents the investment that you need to make and demonstrate to the world of others - that you are indeed serious about having richness.
To make your pitch for having richness more compelling, you will need to indicate what you are willing to give up. Again, this represents the investment risk that you are willing to undertake to have richness.
2. A Willingness to Be Vulnerable
Most people live in the world of strength (vs. weakness), right (vs. wrong) and good (vs. bad.) Their lives are punctuated by judgments of “how they are doing” by these three factors; How strong am I (or weak am I)?, How right am I (or wrong am I)? And How good am I (or bad am I)?
The public persona that we wish to present is that we are strong, right and good.
Being vulnerable steps into being truthful (to at least yourself) about how you wish to keep up this public persona.
It means being willing to tell the truth about your lies, your misrepresentations, your need to look good and avoid being embarrassed, your need to rule over others, your need to be right, your need to invalidate and judge and the pleasure & delight you may derive from doing so, your need to hold your position and be unaccountable and your need - if not choice to stay comfortable rather than be your word and fulfill your vision even if it is uncomfortable.
You may have noticed that this truth telling, while initially grueling - brings a fresh honesty to your life and to others around you.
What you will need to give up:
- The need to avoid being embarrassed.
- The need to be right.
- The need to hold your position and be unaccountable.
- The need to rule over others and invalidate them.
Tall order and already tired?
I understand. But who the heck said this would be easy?
3. A Willingness to Be Present
To be available, alert, and attentive to your experience (feelings, sensations in the body, images, and thoughts) in every moment … if not most of your moments in each day.
As you practice this, you will notice that this attentiveness to your experience will displace your nasty inner critic.
And what could you do without that nasty inner critic following you around any longer?
What do you need to give up?
- Distractions.
- All distractions.
- What distractions? You know which ones.
4. A Willingness to Be Curious
Usually being present over time, yields more curiosity. It is almost natural.
Think about it. If you are present and the distractions no longer exist, what would you do?
If you are tracking me right now, you will feel the natural sense of wonder and curiosity.
What will you need to give up?
- Your resignation and hopelessness. You have to poke holes in these nasty old friends and be willing to let them go on their way.
- Your cynicism - your willingness or tendency to kill off what is possible, even before you try to explore possibilities.
5. Willingness to Have Unlimited Joy
A willingness to let the inner critic voice be quietened, as you decide to dance - to live fully. That voice will question your sanity.
But what you may not be getting is that that voice (inner critic) may be advocating for your insanity - to keep doing what makes you unhappy, thinking all the time that you should be happy or happier.
The previous points above, if practiced, makes having unlimited joy much easier to experience.
6. Making It Up & Making It Real
You always have two ways that you can approach life:
A. Life is doing it to you - you are at the affect of what life gives you.
B. You declare, design and realize what you want - knowing that you may fail a lot on the way to making it real.
The first way is a life sentence and becomes your truth.
The second way is a journey and the surprise is that you find joy in the journey and not necessarily in the result.
The first gives you strange comfort and certainty.
The second gives you possibilities - endless possibilities.
It is your choice for a. Or b. above. What do you choose today?
Since 1991, I’ve been reflecting on, designing, and implementing methodologies and systems for bringing a transcendent, creative and innovative approach to critical aspects of entrepreneurship.
I choose B – a choice I have to keep making over and over, each day. Some days it’s easier to make than others, but on those days the payoff is a thousand times more!
That is awesome Laurel! Keep practicing making those choices!