“I really should know how to do this,” Nora said.
Nora is a very experienced life and healing coach for people in trauma.
She knows her s*it and yet, today was a day when her inner critic got the better of her.
“I really should know how to handle my inner critic by now!” She continued.
“I feel like a child … “
She started crying and everyone in the room wanted to help her but did not quite know how to do that.
She was in a vicious cycle - the more her inner critic judged and condemned her, the less she wanted to talk with others in the group. The less she talked with others in the group, the more she listened to her own voice - which was almost 100 percent, her inner critic’s voice.
The old adage “You are your worst enemy” rings true. The inner critic affects all of us except for a few who are genuinely lying or genuinely devoid of any conscience which may not be necessarily a bad thing.
The inner critic shows us our humanity.
At the same time, it impedes, it restricts possibilities, it leaves us unable to function and it makes us unhappy and unfulfilled with no confidence and it pushes people away.
The inner critic could be the number one factor for continued failure. It is relentless in knocking us down even when we are down. An evil Darth Vader who keeps knocking you out.
So what is the best way to disappear the inner critic?
Well, let me start with the hardest way to do this, which is to do it by yourself.
When you do it yourself, you tend to say things like
- “I should know how to do this.”
- “Why do I always land in this same place … all the time?”
- “I shouldn’t be behaving this way.”
- “What makes me think that I can rise above it all?”
- And more.. interminable questions that lead to … nowhere.
In other words, some form of
- Modifying or changing the situation OR
- Ignoring the situation OR
- Resisting the situation OR
- Fixing the situation.
In other words, you keep thinking about the judgment even when you are saying you should be changing it.
The more you think about the judgment, the more it persists in your mind.
For example, try thinking “Don’t think of a pink elephant”
“Whatever you do, never think of a pink elephant!”
The more you say this, the more you are indeed thinking of a pink elephant.
Hence the judgment prevails and hangs around.
So, the more you tend to medicate or fix or change yourself, the more the inner critic prevails.
So what may be a better way?
THE BETTER WAY - Have others Champion You!
As Nora started to cry, others moved in to support her. When you have six other women/men leaders who know and feel exactly how you feel and yet have a bigger perspective - you have the greatest force in the world on your side - you have love.
The love of a team of people who care for you.
The nature of this love is unconditional listening and unconditional championing.
They are ruthlessly compassionate champions for you to find your way out of the cobwebs and eddies and shockwaves of your mind - to find your way to possibility, opportunity and breakthroughs in the form of results and peace of mind.
Being in Business Can be a Lonely Game … Unless You Decide Otherwise
Nora started to calm down as she listened to her team support her. The support ranged from the very loving and sweet to the very loving and supportive.
I am so proud of this group for banding together to help Nora find her way back to possibility.
Like a band of brothers and sisters, we pulled her back.
Nora calmed down. When asked to rate her guilt, frustration, resignation and fear on a scale of 0 to 10, she said “2” which meant being closer to peaceful as Buddha.
We all need a little pulling back to normalcy - to being peaceful and ourselves again.
This pulling back requires others.
There is no way around it - you need other people.
And they need you.
I invite you to join The Global Business Mastermind.
Every week, the first four Wednesdays of every month at precisely 9 am PACIFIC to about 10.30 am PACIFIC - I open a Zoom conference call to 7 amazing women leaders (men are also invited.)
These women “pull” each other back to being “normal” and understood and appreciated … if not loved leaders in their business. We discuss and resolve all problems independent business owners face - marketing, sales, technical issues, financial, leadership, time management, and more.
As the coach and a wiser one over the years, I let them lead with a bit of guidance.
It works. For over 10 years now, I have been running this mastermind and every week, despite the sadness and resignation in the world, things get better for these business leaders.
If you feel that you could benefit from such an association and that you would be a contribution to this affordable paid program, then please refer to http://www.globalbusinessmastermind.com/ to learn more about this amazing program and then to set up a meeting with me to discuss if your interest and commitment remains.
I look forward to seeing you soon.
Much Joy, Love and Success,
Since 1991, I’ve been reflecting on, designing, and implementing methodologies and systems for bringing a transcendent, creative and innovative approach to critical aspects of entrepreneurship.