I lost my mother in 2019.
I have been feeling slightly lost since then.
This loss has led me to exploring more of what the feminine (that includes the maternal) really means to me, my life, my business ventures, and the future.
The masculine has less to do with being a man or a woman. The feminine has less to do with being a woman or a man.
The masculine seems to be more about doing or action. Think Hans Solo in Star Wars, women warrior queens, etc.
The feminine seems to be more about BEING. Think Queen Elizabeth the first, Marilyn Monroe or Mick Jagger.
30 years ago, I thought that it really was the masculine doingness that should lead the way and that BEING was more of a secondary thought.
But with each succeeding year, I have discovered more strongly and deeply that it may really be the other way around.
After all, it is really BE - DO - HAVE that tends to be the more effective if not graceful, and easier route. The origins of this BE-DO-HAVE distinction goes back thousands of years through several religious, philosophical and spiritual traditions. You “BE” the kind of person you need to BE in order to do the actions consistent with that way of BEING that gives you the results you desire (HAVE.)
For example, to have wealth - you will need to be the kind of person who welcomes and invites abundance or possibilities (e.g. BEING open-minded) that leads to actions consistent with that (e.g. researching options for building wealth) that leads (with time perhaps) to wealth.
BEING, you could say, has to do with the feminine. It has less to do with doing and more to do with who you are BEING. The closest way to describe it in the English language is mindset, presence or context.
Of course, if you are imbued with the masculine doingness (like I was 3 decades ago), you may pooh-pooh all of this spiritual-sounding nonsense. And I would not argue with you.
My experience with BE DO HAVE - The benefits of this way of life
Life is a crapshoot. There are no guarantees. And life hands you things that are mostly unexpected even with the most adept planning. I am not saying to not plan; Planning sets an intention in your mind that tends to get fulfilled in some format - not usually in the exact sense or way that you originally intended.
Having said all that, BE DO HAVE has the advantage of ease and grace.
Ease because it takes the weight and stress of overdoing with no direction off your shoulders. When I come from BE DO HAVE, I tend to have more ease in my life and interestingly more focus. The masculine DOING following the feminine BEING tends to work really well.
I equate grace with dancing. When you learn how to dance really well, you learn how to move along with the blocks or the unexpected. A good dancer (male or female) can lead or co-lead the dance, so as to avoid another less experienced dancer about to get in their way or to recover from a fall. Grace is most definitely more about BEING than DOING.
Ease and grace are damned good reasons to come from the feminine (BEING.)
Wealth & Success
Sure, there are important things to be done in attracting or preserving wealth - saving, investing, wealth protection, continuity, etc.
The same could be said of success.
But to attract wealth & success, you need to come from BEING. E.g. someone who is BEING mindful (open to new information, different perspectives and different categories of thinking) has a greater chance of acquiring and keeping wealth, compared to someone who remains closed off to ideas and opportunities (BEING mindless.) BEING mindful includes considering both the opportunity and the risk.
Fulfillment to me is about being satisfied. The feeling of BEING fulfilled is what you experience when “your heart is full”; When you may be overwhelmed with a feeling of peace, satisfaction if not utmost joy.
The BEINGness required for fulfillment is the willingness to be fulfilled. To BE someone who is willing and allows fulfillment to occur - this includes the willingness to let go of disappointment, judgment and failure. One way of BEING to get to fulfillment is to BE forgiving, gracious and grateful.
E.g. BEING grateful leads to actions and communications where you express gratitude to others (DOING) which in turn leads you to HAVE a community of people around you who continually helps you to feel fulfilled.
The First Step: Choosing To BE - The Power of Declaration
In BEING, you may have to turn TIME or TEMPORALITY on its head.
For most people, you have to DO first and GET TRACTION first (that is amass proof first) before you can declare something to be true.
In the domain of BEING, you may FIRSTLY need to declare something will be true in the future and then amass the “concrete”, results or structural foundations to call it true.
People are primarily afraid of declaring in this fashion because it bears a lot of risk and fear - “What if I fail?” (fear of failure), “What will people think of me if I fail?” (fear of reputation loss), “Why did I have to open my big fat mouth?” (fear of being judged) and more.
But this way of declaring has an interesting outcome.
It brings out the aliveness inherent in us as human beings.
It brings out the inherent nature of life - life is risky - and does not indemnify us unnaturally from this risk.
So you start sweating and your heart beats a lot faster as you make a risky declaration.
But in that moment, you start BEING ALIVE.
This state is what we actually crave for. It comes with a necessary investment of risk.
So the declaration of what you want and will have leads you to being terribly nervous, but at the same time BEING and feeling fully alive.
That is very feminine, I assert, because it is life-giving and life-affirming. The moment you declare something to come into existence, you give life (birthing.)
My invitation to you is to deepen your femininity - to take a risk and declare what you want to have in the future and then bring in the masculine to make it real.
Are you ready?
If you are, schedule a time with me to discuss what you want to declare and how you want that declaration to become real: www.MeetupChat.com
See you soon,
Since 1991, I’ve been reflecting on, designing, and implementing methodologies and systems for bringing a transcendent, creative and innovative approach to critical aspects of entrepreneurship.